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Train Your Angry Dragon: A Cute Children Story To Teach Kids About Emotions and Anger Management (My Dragon Books)
The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year (Sh!t No One Tells You (1))
Operant Conditioning and Parenting Techniques Unveiled
There is no book that teaches someone how to be a good parent.Operant conditioning is one thing that has helped my family with the dreaded discipline and i'm positive that it will help yours also.
The book describes Operant Conditioning as "The process by which a response becomes more likely to occur or less so, depending on its consequences." Basically it means that you are fueling the fire by giving in and acknowledging negative behavior. I soon came to wonder if it would with my son. My husband and I were open for suggestions, and this seemed very validated and had the possibility of working for us. So we began to think of ways to make this work. What we found was amazing and has changed our sons' behavior, not instantly, but you can definitely tell the difference from two weeks ago.
When we first started the operant conditioning on our son he would throw tantrums and they got bad. He would cry so loud that it would wake the baby up, and he would not stop until he had what he wanted, and stupidly many of the times I felt bad and gave in. That was a Big NO NO. With operant conditioning I realized that it's going to be rough, but I can't just give in or he will keep doing the negative behavior in order to get the reward at the end. I wanted extinction of the behavior, not refueling. So the next time that we told him "No" we stuck to it. Then he began to cry and get to the point of screaming. I sat him in Time out. He proceeded to get up, so I went to my daughter and started paying her a lot of attention. He knew he was supposed to sit down, but he wanted the negative attention, that I would take away from the activity that I was doing, for him. I didn't give it to him. When he did get up I became so completely consumed with paying attention to my daughter that he became furious. He started screaming, got up, grabbed his cup, and screamed that he was thirsty. I could keep going on with the list, but the truth is that he just wanted any type of attention.
When my son saw that he was NOT going to get the attention by acting bad, he did something that made my jaw drop. He sat back down on the couch to finish his time-out! Yes that is an explanation mark, simply because it is so remarkable that he actually did it. The best part was as soon as he sat down I asked him what he wanted to tell me so bad and he just said he would like something to drink. So I let him know that after time-out he would get his drink. He sat there for 4 minutes, and didn't get up, not once! It really does work. We have been using this technique for almost two weeks, and now when he has to go to time-out he barely ever gets up. We're hoping that within the next 2 weeks he will be completely done with getting up during time-out. Consistency is what we lacked. He did not need someone to give in, he needed someone not to feel bad for him but to realize that he was being punished, and to stick to it. I really enjoyed this chapter, and operant conditioning works, and is so useful to me. The main part is to stick to it, and choose one battle at a time. Anyone can be a parent, but the great parents are the ones that listen to suggestions, and try their best to improve.