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Best Dna Test To Find Parents in 2023

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News Story Over Gene Testing for Kids Reminiscent of Sci-Fi Movie 'Gattaca'

Multiple companies are marketing DNA tests that allow parents to find out which sports their children would be best at...time to re-watch the 1997 film Gattaca, right?

In the movie a young man, played by Ethan Hawke, is born the "natural" way, without his parents' DNA being combined in a lab to maximize his genetic potential. His mother's and father's DNA sequences randomly combined to give him a mixed-bag of genes...the same method that has created the 7 billion of us on the planet today.

His younger brother, on the other hand, is born the more-traditional way for their time, which consists of the "best" of his mother and the "best" of his father being combined. The younger brother, even at a young age, is taller, stronger, and faster than his older sibling.

Hawke's character, a young man named Vincent, cannot get the job he wants, or ANY good job for that matter, because he is considered genetically inferior to the "traditional" babies like his brother. The rest of the film involves the great lengths Vincent will go to in order to disguise his true heritage and pursue his dreams.

Fortunately for us, it seems that sci-fi flicks are always too far ahead of their time. Such films predict scientific and technological breakthroughs occurring in the "near future." Yet so far we have avoided flying cars, floating cities, manned missions to Jupiter, an attack of Terminators, real-life Brundleflies, hovercrafts in every garage, or meals-in-a-pill.

But today, well, we just might be at the earliest stages of a Gattaca-esque future.

Now that parents can have their kids' DNA checked, even at the most rudimentary level, it unleashes all sorts of unpleasantries.

The inspirations, drives, goals, hopes, and childish dreams that make childhood great can be dashed by overzealous parents with a printout from a lab:

"Jimmy, we're taking you out of basketball because, well, you're just too short. Since chances are you won't be the next Spud Webb, you better learn to love soccer."

or

"Johnny, you're just gonna be too big-boned for soccer. You stop juggling that soccer ball and put up those shinguards - we're gonna learn how to tackle! You're gonna be a lineman!"

The ruthless efficiency of it all is reminiscent of stories of sports camps (more like sports compounds) for young athletes in the Soviet Union. The American childhood of mixing-and-matching sports and activities slowly evolves into something akin to Ivan Drago's training in Rocky IV, with parents focusing obsessively on any area where the child might have a natural advantage.

Aside from distressing countless kids by turning childhood into a quasi-Soviet athlete training camp or "sports school," there is the added question of economic inequality. How expensive will these tests be, and who can be tested?

Obviously, wealthier parents will be able, and willing, to pay top dollar to find out which activities their progeny will likely take to most naturally. And, out of desperation to breed a hyper-competitive teenager destined for full-ride college scholarships, middle-class and wealthy parents may

A.) Go overboard and become nightmare parents out of a Hollywood movie

or

B.) Become desperate and gullible, throwing away their money to new, fly-by-night "athlete gene testing" outfits that promise to unveil the most effective diets, training regimens, and the like for young athletes.

Then there's always the C option, which is a good mix of both.

While the technology is nowhere near Gattaca-like (the kids' DNA can only be scanned, not altered), perhaps a leak has been sprung in the dam of what was once genetic science fiction.

Lawmakers: Rent Gattaca, grab a pizza and a soda, and settle in with a notepad. Take notes. You might be voting on this stuff next term.

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